Lost at Sea

It's hard to know what matters 

when it feels like nothing does, but

I'm trying to make friends

with my melancholia. 

I romanticized depression, I know. 

Couldn't foresee a soul knee-deep in snow- 

I might never feel the sun or see the day, 

but I'd trade in the emptiness to feel torrential rain. 

because sadness is better than nothing! Who knew? 

All I see right now are muted shades of blue. 

My vitals are strong, so they say, but 

I'm fairly certain something deep inside is DOA. 

They say everything's coming to an end, 

so I might just skip tomorrow's shower then. 

And if my brain might never work the same, 

does it matter if I ever do again? 

it gets dark 

and deep 

and there's nothing as far as I can see 

am I alone? 

is it just me? 

I don't know where you are, 

I'm lost at sea. 

How am I supposed to hold out, 

when I see no sign of shore? 

and if I'm being honest, 

I can't do it anymore.